You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
