oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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