the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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