Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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