I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
