Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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