I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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