the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Watching her eat just hurts me
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
