The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
