I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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