We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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