I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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