Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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