He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
we made out on top of his cat.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
