Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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