I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
where are my pants?
in the oven.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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