I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
