im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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