I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
