just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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