his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
