all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
