I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
