I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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