so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
