The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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