it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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