nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
