You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
