I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
