I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
