So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
