ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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