...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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