Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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