saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
