I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
