piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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