i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
