I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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