Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
