high people should be assigned attendants
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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