i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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