I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Randomize
