GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
