we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
