New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
