the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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