she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
