i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
