Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
