I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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